If You Are Even Slightly Interested In My European Plans...

You might all be thinking...

We get it, Sam, you're going to Europe.

Or maybe...

Shut up about it already.

But you clicking on my blog link means you're at least vaguely interested, so I got that going for me, which is nice. We have a lot of our plans solidly nailed down and only extreme extraneous circumstances could alter what we have planned and booked, so I thought I'd share what I'll be doing for the month of April.

March 31 will be the last day ever of teaching abroad. We are gonna hang around for a few days, get the last remaining things in order and then hightail it to Tokyo on April 3. I've never been to Tokyo. I lived in Japan for an entire year and have gone back for two subsequent vacations and yet, no Tokyo. I'm pretty excited to hang around that city for the evening/night and see our friend Vivian. (It's nice having friends all over the planet.) Plus, I love Japan. I'm really, really glad to be getting to stop back there one last time and have some delicious food (and milk tea) before returning to the Western World. 

We depart the Asian continent for good the following morning, April 4, at 11am, with a nonstop flight to London. I have a feeling that my excitement will not be contained easily. This flight is 13-14 hours, and like the five other planet-crossing flights I've taken, this one will be no different: GET ME OFF THIS GOD FORSAKEN AIRPLANE. 

We will be in London April 4-8. I'll be spending my birthday there! That's quite the birthday gift, I'll take it. We'll be doing a lot of AirBNB, which I'm pretty excited about. 

Here's our place in Prince Harry Land: https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/294177 

We have to stay pretty far out of the city center, in Zone 4, so that's slightly a bummer but Al and I are not hostel people, so my main goal was to just find the nicest, cheapest place in an area where we won't get mugged. Zone 4 was the closest we could even afford to the center, but that's alright. We also want places with a kitchen (hence using AirBNB a lot) so we don't have to eat out every meal. We are trying to do this budget (a word that is NOT synonymous with Europe), not exactly on a shoestring, but saving some cash by cooking a few of our own meals is a smart way to go, I think. 

April 8 we're taking the bus up to Liverpool so Al can see all the Beatles stuff. I'm sure it will be a nice thing to see, but that's more his thing. The Beatles have cool history and are respectable for sure, but just not something I'm whole-heartedly interested in. He's pretty excited. Everyone told him that the sights are easily done in a day, so we're just spending the day and night there. 

The following morning (the 9th) we're catching the train from Liverpool down to Paris! I can't believe in just a few short months I get to see the Eiffel Tower with my own eyeballs. Sure, most Parisians consider it an eyesore of the city, but whatevaaaaa. I'm going to do everything cheesy and cliche (wine and cheese picnic on the lawn, a kissy romantic picture in front of it...) and NOBODY CAN STOP ME!!! 

Here is where we're staying: https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/132533 

It's not exactly a cute Parisian apartment with the pretty gates on the windows and parquet floors or whatever, but you can't beat the price. And for Heaven's sake I'm in Paris, I'm not going to be in my room. 

On the 12th, we're taking the trek to Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris to pick up our rental car and begin our France/Italy road trip, the bulk of our vacation! The amusing part is, the first time Al will be behind the wheel of a vehicle in over two years he will be trying to navigate himself out of CDG airport. Good luck, Al. We're getting an early start and making our way about 3 hours south of Paris to the Loire Valley, our first stop. This area of France is known for its castles and wineries. (Castles and wineries! Swoon.) Check out these cool castles we're going to see:

Is that not something out of Beauty and the Beast or what?

Here is where we're staying in this area: https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/1395494 

We'll be hanging around here April 12-14, then early on the 14th we're going to start driving south (to the "South of France", dur), stopping wherever our hearts desire. I for sure want to stop in Arles (so much Van Gogh history!), and then Aix-en-Provence and possibly Marseilles, Nice or Cannes, but it's all about time and prioritizing. We will drive east along the Mediterranean, cross into Italy and continue down the coast until we reach Rome. A few months ago Al had the insane idea to go to Rome (Vatican) for Easter. I mean, being in one of the most holy cities on earth on one of the most holy holidays of the year? AND get to see the freaking Pope? Sign me up! So that's what we're doing (along with millions of other people making the pilgrimage for the exact same reason). Easter is super late this year, so we'll be in Rome April 18-21, that's giving us 5 days to drive from the Loire Valley to lovely Roma, in which we are staying here: https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/1314143. We have to stay pretty far outside the city because we'll have a car, and it's basically impossible to drive in the center. We'll park it for a few days and take public transport into the center and The Vatican. 

We will fight the Easter crowds in Rome (I am going to sob when I see the ceilings in the Sistine Chapel, just sob) and then get an early start the morning of the 21st and head back up north, where we are going to relax in Tuscany for a few days. I realize "Tuscany" is a very large area, I just haven't narrowed down where exactly yet. I know we're going to go the farmhouse route and stay among wineries and olive groves (It's a B&B! It's a farm! They have wine and chickens and Italian cooking classes and cypress trees! Heaven!). It seems they are a dime a dozen though; it all just comes down to picking one I guess. 

On the 24th, we are going to start our journey back north, back to Paris. The only stops I know for sure we're making on this leg of the trip is Pisa (no I refuse to do the stupid picture of "holding up" the leaning tower) and the Cinque Terre region. Check this out: 

No, you're eyes aren't deceiving you, this place actually exists, it's not some Photoshop miracle. I just found out about it a few months ago and immediately added it to our stop list. There are five little towns along the cliffs that all look like that, and it's called Cinque Terre. I know enough Spanish and French to know that translates into Italian as "five lands". Stoked. We will continue driving up to Paris until the 28th or 29th. I'd like to spend our last day or two in Paris again to relax a bit after all the driving. 

On April 30th, we catch our flight from mainland Europe up to the Arctic to go to mofo ICELAND. This, above everything else, is what I'm looking forward to the most. I mean, who goes to Iceland!? Me, suckas, ME. I've always, always wanted to go. Iceland Air is hella cheap with a free stopover there, so of course we're going. We only planned on two nights and one full day as kind of long layover before heading to the US, but after watching "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty" (a must-see) we decided to add an extra day. We land in the afternoon, so we'll spend that day and the next full day in the capital, Reykjavik (it's the northernmost capital city in the world!), and then early the next morning we're renting a car and making the drive along the southern coast to Jokulsarlon, the iceberg lagoon. There are tons of spectacular sights along the way, and I'm also hoping we're not too late in the year to see the northern lights. We'll stay the night somewhere in SE Iceland, then make the 500 km drive back to Reykjavik where we catch a flight home at 5pm. 

The flight from Reykjavik to Newark is about 6 hours, getting us there in the evening, too late to catch any flights out...meaning we have to spend the night in Newark. Gag. Oh well, we fly to Nashville the next morning, arriving early afternoon. 

So, that's the plan. I like it! I can't wait to see all the amazing things we'll add to it along the way! 

I Know I Can't Really Complain, But...

It's cold here. Since this is my third winter here, I'm sure this is the third blog post I've written saying similar things, but Busan winters can blow me. I know y'all back home have been enduring much, much worse weather and temperatures than I can even imagine, but it's all relative, right?

But, now that most of your weather back in the homeland is pretty much back to normal, we're again on par. The average winter temperatures here and the temperatures in West Virginia are roughly the same, except here it's sunny and clear every single day, coupled with very windy conditions from being on the coast, making it feel about 20 degrees colder than it actually says. Plus I have a 20-25 minute walk to work, which makes for a very unpleasant portion of my day. Americans live a very sedentary lifestyle, walking only from your house door to your car door to your work door. If I have to go anywhere within a 1-2 km radius, I walk; which is nice, except in the winter. I'm very jealous of the fact that you guys only have to be out in the cold for very brief periods of time. And once I'm at school, the cold doesn't stop there. The hallways and bathrooms are not heated, and the classrooms and offices only mildly so (along with children who are allergic to keeping doors shut), leaving me in a constant state of shivering from December to March.

So, yes, most of the United States was buried under snow and arctic winds were ravaging the country for a week or so, but generally speaking, you weren't really out in it for very long. You had warm houses and cars (and hallways and bathrooms) to at least shelter you from the frigidness. I am in no way minimizing your suffering. Trust me, I know it was really serious and I'm glad I wasn't there to experience it. Just saying, be glad it was only a week of extreme cold and not nearly four months of dressing like Randy from A Christmas Story to walk to work, then swaddling yourself in a blanket in your office huddled around your coffee cup refusing to go pee because the bathroom is an igloo. I am very, very glad this will be my last winter in this city. Unless, for some unknown reason, we move to St. Paul, I'm sticking to the southern half of the US forever so I don't have to deal with a long winter season ever again.




Here's a nice picture of some clear water in a warm, remote, tropical locale to take your mind off winter.

Perhentian Besar, Malaysia

Resolutions Are Nonsense: Happy 2014

Call me a sourpuss or something, but I don't buy into that whole "new year, new me" bullshizz. I think that making resolutions is a surefire way to set yourself up for disappointment. Statistically, only 5-10% of people actually stick to their resolutions. Are you going to be one in that small percentage? Probably not. If you aren't willing set goals to lose 50 pounds, quit smoking and volunteer more in August, why do you think you would on January 1st? Yeah, the calendar changed, but you probably won't.

Now before you point the cross hairs in my direction and send out a witch hunt for my head, understand that I very much like the idea of the New Year and making an attempt to do good, just like I like the idea of Valentine's Day; both are stupid, so indulging without seriousness is A-OK. Valentine's Day is corny and tacky, but is it fun getting flowers from Al and reveling in all the pink and fluff? Sure! Just like it's nice to think about changing your ways, even though, more than likely, you will not. Not to say that resolutions are tacky, but they shouldn't have much stock put into them, just like Valentine's Day. 

I don't think I've ever made a resolution, ever, and as it turns out, come Feburary 7th, I'm not wallowing in guilt because I haven't stuck to something I told myself I would or wouldn't do. Just like everyone else, I like the fresh start that the new year brings. For some reason, in my head I don't see years or calendars as linear, I see them as sort of a long oval, where December 31 is at the top and then January 1 drops back down to the bottom, allowing us to work our way back up to the top again. And starting from the bottom isn't bad, especially when it comes to the New Year; it's that clean beginning we all love. I just don't think we should make promises to ourselves, serious ones at least, that we will more than likely never fulfill. I'm all about trying to get to the gym about a month before we leave here and bust my rear so that I'll look great in our vacation photos. New Year's resolution? Nah, just something I want to (maybe) accomplish. 

2014 actually scares the bejeezus out of me. It's the year of uncertainty. In 91 days, Al and I will be finishing our teaching abroad life and heading into the (as of right now) American Unknown. Between today and April 3, we still have to acquire a Green Card and a couple of jobs. (The Green Card is a necessity, the jobs would be a plus). We will be setting out to Europe with a month itinerary of amazing places to see and then we land in the old USA with a somewhat shoddy plan of attempting to start our lives there. What scares me the most is that in the past 2 1/2 years that I will have been here in Korea, out of all the dozens of people I've known best, only three have not yet returned after they finished and went to their respective homelands. Every single person (except the three) that I've gotten close to, who has left at one point, has come back here because of the debilitating job situations in the Western World. We've had quite a few return in the past few months and three more will be arriving in the next month or so. I do not, under any circumstances, want that to become us. I am DONE teaching and I do not want to come back here. I'd rather work at Walgreens and live with my mother forever. 

I already know, and am preparing myself for it, there will come a time during this coming year that I will be aching for this life and this place. Possibly Al more than I because in some ways (the partying kind) he is much more of a child than myself. Not to say that him liking to go out every weekend is bad, but the bars not closing and staying out until sunrise every weekend is something that is just not done in the US unless one is 22 years old in Panama City on Spring Break (or a student at WVU), and I'm sure he will miss that aspect more than I will. I will be aching for the freedom we have. I've said it a million times, but we have very little responsibility and can basically do whatever we want whenever we want. Once back home, that's life, and something I'm 50/50 on. But, Al is almost 30, I'm almost 28, we have to start somewhere, sometime, and I know this is the time. I don't want to be 30 years old and come back here. I refuse. Life is calling! Because I know that there will probably be more than a few occasions of intense questioning and wanting to come back, I think I'll be better prepared for it. Something like the grass is always greener and people want what they can't have, right?

New Year's Eve was eventful yet again, although a little less lackluster than last year, I think. My outfit was fab, but nothing really screamed "New Year's Eve" this year other than my hat with the giveaway "Happy New Year" and the somewhat ho-hum countdown that occured in the very packed venue where we were located. With about 5 minutes left to midnight, the band left the stage saying they'd be back for the countdown, but with about 30 seconds left, a group next to us decided to take it upon themselves to start counting from 10. No one was into it, so they stopped. About 20 seconds later, they started it again, this time everyone else halfheartedly chimed in and...that was our countdown. No music, nothing on over the speakers. I found out a short while later that it was actually a friend of ours (whom I like very much) who started the whole thing, so it's hard to be mad. I just put too much store into big events. I'm exactly like that scene in Christmas Vacation when Ellen says to Clark, "You set standards that no family event could ever live up to...parties, weddings, graduations..." Yep. That's me. I always have such high hopes for big events that I feel extremely let down when they don't live up to the hype I have in my head. Despite it not really feeling like NYE, we still had a blast out and ended up at karaoke (where else) until about 6. Not a bad night.

In Korea, they believe that what you do on January 1st sets you up for the entire year and is sort of a prediction of how one's year will be. (Al swears it's just the country putting that in their heads to keep them productive, working and un-lazy even on a holiday.) If that's the case, my year will be obese and nearly comotose, as my January 1st was spent ordering McDonald's and moving only from the computer to the bed. I don't know if I agree with Al, I think it's a nice idea, superstition, tradition, whatever it is...although knowing this country like I do, he might have a slight point.



Let the anxiety about 2014 begin!

 

You Serious, Clark?

Christmas has yet again come and gone, this one being, I believe, my fourth away from home. I'm already looking forward to next year when it will actually feel like Christmas and I can easily get the things I want (turkey, proper wrapping paper...) and be able to be with my family.

Christmas is only somewhat of a holiday here. It's been catching on over the past few years so there are decorations on store windows and music playing and trees up in the department stores and a big display of Christmas lights in the Nampo area that people flock to see, so there is a bit of holiday spirit in the air...it's just not, you know, home. It's just not the same and not done to the magnitude that a Westerner is accustomed, so there is a little bit to be desired. Christmas Eve is a working day here, so I spent my day at school making construction paper Christmas trees with the kids.

My mom mailed our box of Christmas gifts and it arrived right on time, so Al and I woke up Christmas morning, put on the Elvis Christmas album (it's what my family always played on Christmas) and opened gifts. I don't care how old I am really, one never tires of opening dozens of Christmas presents. 

I got a new camera, which I'm super stoked about, I just need to figure out how to use it. I wanted a nicer one than what I have so I can get some good pictures on our European vacay, so that was my big gift from my mother. I can set things manually, which I think will allow me to take some much better pictures, I just don't know what I'm doing yet. Help!

We cleaned up all the paper and moved all the furniture around because all of our friends were coming over for Christmas that night. We decided that since we had the room and a good setup for Thanksgiving that we'd also just go ahead and do Christmas. A few weeks prior we had done a Secret Santa drawing, so more presents were to be unwrapped! 

Everyone I love here came and the mood was jolly. We had delicious food (everyone was in agreement it was even better than Thanksgiving) and I made a pumpkin cheesecake that was a huge hit. 

He wanted old man glasses to go with his outfit

Secret Santa!

Tom was Santa and added gift opening commentary

Hearts

Bombshells

Everyone left about 2am and we had to work at 9 the next morning, which was the start of the kids' winter "vacation", meaning my hours now shift to morning. Which is fine, get in early, get out early. I finish at 2:35 Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and 1:45 on Thursday Friday. Not a bad day. I won't be taking it for granted; it's my last semester. 

It's Monday and I'm off today, tomorrow and the 1st. Not much of a vacation considering I had 7 days straight off last year, but I'll take what I can get. Onward to 2014!

Another Holiday Away

Thanksgiving came and went with about as much excitement as it does back home, just perhaps with a little less cranberry sauce and a lot less family. On Thanksgiving Day, I wasn't about to do any studying at school just for the principal that it was a holiday to me. Al was there at school with me so we got some brown, red and yellow paper and made hand turkeys with our classes, to much delight of the students who neither know nor care that it's Thanksgiving, as long as they don't have to study. The older kids know of Thanksgiving, so they were also just as delighted to do a Thanksgiving crossword puzzle while I sat on the computer and scrolled through Pinterest. Not much of a Thanksgiving Day, but hey! Hand turkeys are better than nothing.

The Sunday after Thanksgiving was the big feast hoorah at our apartment. We squeezed over 30 bodies in our minuscule apartment, though much more comfortably than we imagined. We got three fully-cooked turkey breasts at Costco, I made enough mashed potatoes to feed an army, two pumpkin pies and our friend Jess, who has recently returned, brought stuffing back from America. That covers the basics, plus we had a dish or contribution from every person, including but not limited to: broccoli casserole, curried carrots, sweet potatoes, artichoke dip and some bacon-wrapped rice concoction which Sophie brought that I believe people are now clambering over themselves trying to get the recipe. Everyone had a great time, even though Americans make up maybe only 60% of our group of friends. But who doesn't love getting together and eating, despite the celebration?

Boys peeling potatoes

Full to the brim!

After Thanksgiving is the only appropriate time to put up the Christmas tree if you ask me, so that's what Al and I did Tuesday night. It's the same tree and decorations as last year, but it's cute nonetheless! 

Look at him flexing for the picture

Our friend Will decided on a whim not even a month ago that he was over Korea and wanted to move to Shanghai with some other friends we have there. Get a new start. So that's exactly what he did. Will has been a constant in our lives for nearly two years, so it's really strange that he's not here. I miss him terribly, and I can say it a million times, but it's the worst part of this job. Wednesday night was the last time we saw him and really have no idea when we will ever again. We miss you so much, Will! 

Getting pretty excited for Christmas! My last one in another country. I can't even remember the last Christmas I had with my family in America. Many, many years ago. Well, here's to my last set of holidays abroad! 

Apparently I Look Like A Russian Hooker

I can't believe I didn't write about this sooner, but I might have just been just too shaken up (slightly) over it. I was also probably so busy telling everyone here about it because they would understand what happened slightly better than an outsider...and then I forgot to write about it.

Before telling you my tale, I'll let you in on a little information about old Korean men, also known as an "ahjussi". An ahjussi is, in nice terms, a way to refer to a Korean man who is much older than you. In more negative (yet accurate) terms, it's a skeezy, drunk old Korean dude reeking of cigs and kimchi. (Or as Al so lovingly says...."they're f*ck heads".)

These guys prowl the streets of Korea all hours of the day, wasted, stumbling around causing ruckus and offending many people along the way. The problem with Korean society is that if someone is older than you, you cannot, under any circumstances, question or challenge them. It does not matter if they say the sky is green, you must just smile, agree and move on. In businesses (and schools), you can never question authority. If someone is older, in a higher position of power, or both, it is a major no-no to debate them. So, because of this unfortunate hierarchy of a belief system they have over here, old people run about like they own the place and can do whatever they want, whenever they want without consequence. (Being drunk here is almost always an actual, legal way to get out of most things...even rape. It's excusable if you had one too many soju shots). For example, a drunk ahjussi (those two words tend to just belong together) would not leave Al and two friends alone one night when they were sitting outside on the patio of our local Family Mart. He was just belligerent and harassing them and, no joke, kept trying to grab Al's friend's crotch. They got tired of it asked a girl our age at the next table if she spoke English, she said yes, so he asked if she could kindly ask him to piss off. She then apologized and said there's no way she can tell him to leave simply because he's older than her. I wish I were joking. I'm all for respecting elders, but it's on a completely different level here.

All that was to tell you of my encounter with my own ahjussi a few months ago. I was walking home from work, which is about a mile one way, and I could sense there was someone walking behind me, keeping pace. My route is on a busy, well lit street so I wasn't too bothered by it. All of a sudden, I felt a person grab my hand. I whipped around and it's a gross man, probably 50 years old. I yanked my hand away, gave him a look like wtf and sped up my walking. He continued to walk next to me and grab my hand several times all while I'm yelling "아니요!" (no!) and giving him dirty looks. I walked much faster thinking I lost the guy when he was back again this time grabbing my arm trying to get me to go with him somewhere. He was patting his heart, pointing down the street somewhere, rambling in Korean. He grabbed my arm again, I shouted in his face, and lucky I was close to Al's school so I went there pronto. By the way, as all this was happening there were many onlookers refusing to help me. This is common here, no one wants to get involved because it's inconvenient for them, so they don't help. They merely watch as if it's some entertaining, ridiculous K-Drama on television. I made it to Al's school just fine, albeit slightly peeved at the whole thing. Al walked me home, of course hoping to run into the guy so he could...I dunno, punch him or something?

Over the next few days, I regaled my story to some friends, one of whom said (like it was the most obvious thing in the world), "He probably thought you were a prostitute."

Bingo.

Why didn't I come to this realization myself? Korean men love hookers. Korea (and Japan) is a country of Love Motels a.k.a. "by the hour" motels. There is one on every block seemingly encouraging this behavior. Guys on motorcycles drive by and throw little cards all over the sidewalks, adorned with pictures of naked women and a phone number, where anyone who walks by can see and pick them up, children included of course. A friend is even collecting them to make some kind of hilarious art piece out of them. Korean men are the #1 customers in Southeast Asia for the sex industry down there. One thing that we foreigners hear a lot about are the "Russians" around these parts. The "Russians" are mostly blonde young women who come down here from like Vladivostok (or other parts of Eastern Europe) or something to make some cash in a society that's more than willing to pay.

As soon as my friend said that, I knew exactly that's what the old guy thought. I get stared at a lot buy old Korean men and it's slightly unnerving, but generally they keep their distance. I've gotten asked before on more than one occasion if I was Russian, knowing exactly what they were implying, but I immediately say I'm American and they don't probe further, unlike that dude.

Here's an interview with a girl here about the situation and her also being thought of as a prostitute all the time, it's a good read! http://www.mappingwords.com/2012/12/12/are-you-russian/

Four more months and I'm ouutttaaa here!

Spa Land WHAAAAAT?!

In the World's Largest Department Store just down the road, there is an incredible place called Spa Land. It's basically just what it sounds like.

In Asia there are numerous public baths. You go in, pay a few bucks, get a key, strip down and enjoy all the different jacuzzis in all your naked glory. It may sound strange to a westerner, but it's perfectly normal to the locals and it's even a past time enjoyed by families who come together. There are old ladies and mothers and teenagers and little girls running all about the place. These places are squeaky clean, beyond relaxing and surprisingly cheap. I went all the time in Japan (where they are called onsens) but I've only been once here in Korea (where they are called jimjilbangs). Our friend's Steph and Andre are leaving in a few weeks so what better way to spend some quality time with a friend than bathing together?

We paid our $14 and walked through the fancy corridors to the men/women's entrance and Al and Andre went one way and Steph and I went the other. They give you an outfit that resembles scrubs to wear in the co-ed areas, so we put that on first and went up to the restaurant to meet the boys and eat. Steph and I made an appointment for a body scrub so after dinner we went back down to the baths area, got naked, and the lady called us in.

There are three Korean women who were working this body scrub/massage area. Their "uniform" was, no joke, a black bra and panties set. I walk into a room that looked like nothing more than a large utility closet, complete with rolling metal shelves and buckets. She instructed I lay down on a pink plastic table and she went to work. She took one of those buckets I saw and doused me in hot water, put some oily stuff on what looked like yellow oven mitts and started scrubbing. She scrubbed every single inch of my body until I was literally laying there in mounds of my own zombie-colored dead skin. It was vile. I was first on my back while she buffed my stomach and boobs and all other parts facing up. She then had me turn on my side where she indicated I spread eagle myself while she got the insides of my legs. I finally got on my stomach so she could do all the back parts, including my buttcrack. I had to turn over once more while she got parts she may have missed, such as my bellybutton and armpits and finally it was over. She threw some more hot water all over to rid me of all the loose dead skin that was now sticking everywhere, rubbed me with some more oil and it was over. After all was said and done, I looked like I had an intense sunburn. I was SO red! Here 24 hours later my skin still feels like a baby, but my hands are having a hard time holding moisture for some reason. Perhaps scrubbing them to death did something? Either way I feel like I can't keep enough lotion on them.

We next went to the outside baths. It has many hot, shallow rock pools and it has a pretty wooden roof while the upper part of the walls are open to the outside. We sat in the foot and a half of hot water and talked while I felt like there needed to be koi fish swimming around me because of the surroundings. Now, perhaps it's my generation, but I don't see how all these women my age can have such hairy hoohas. I get it's more of a western thing, really, but some of these I saw are just out of control. And whoever thinks that Asians have small boobs, it's really not the case. There were lots of old ladies with them hanging past their belly buttons just like your own grandma's.

After we were done with the rock pools, we put back on our scrubs/taekwondo outfits, met the boys and decided to check out all the "rooms". It's somewhat like a hallway of saunas, each one with different healing or relaxation properties and different temperatures. Some scorching hot, some dry and comfortable, some humid, some frigid, some with special hot stones, some shaped like pyramids...take your pick. We sampled a few and then went to the top floor where there are recliners with TVs attached where you can relax or read magazines. I watched a bit of the Nat Geo channel and then Al and I called it a night. I went back to the women's part, got back in one of the tubs one last time and then regretfully put my jeans and coat back on.

Why have I not yet been to Spa Land in two years? There are jimjilbangs everywhere but nothing like this place. I will be back!

The Kids Are Dropping Like Flies

There have been some recent changes at Nammun Elementary school. As some of you may know, I work for an after school program through a company called Avalon. Korean academies are all various shades of sketchy, and as it turns out, mine is no different. Our Avalon branch owner, let's call him Mr. S, has been getting in loads of trouble lately. Al and I decided on a whim to go check the status of our pension a few months ago and whaddya know, old Mr. S hadn't paid it in three months. It took five unpaid months and a call from the pension office threatening him with the Labor Board to get him to pay it. Over these last few months at the main office where Al works, he hasn't replaced teachers that have finished their contracts, closed down the third floor, and asked the Korean staff to take a pay cut, among other things. Al and I were slightly sweating with worry over what was going on with our school because teachers being thrown out on their rear with no money because their school closed isn't that unusual around here. It turns out, wait for it, that Mr. S is getting sued by Avalon because he was operating under the Avalon name without actually paying for the franchise. To be honest, I'm not that surprised. I'm still unsure whether it was the main office where Al works or only Nammun that was illegal, either way he now has to change everything and will now not be a name-brand academy.

The good news is nothing will change with our job situation. They will continue to stay open and have even talked to another teacher who finishes in January about a replacement for him for a year contract after that, so we're cool in our heels. 

The bad news is the kids are quitting left and right. The thing you have to understand about Korea is that BRAND matters above everything else. Counterfeit is rampant here because they have to be seen with the logo. I constantly see Prada and Hermes shopping bags with groceries in them because they just want to be seen carrying it. If one kid at school buys a $150 special kind of backpack and then all the kids start buying those, the social implications of you as a parent not buying that bag for your child means you could be talked about in social situations or pegged as poor. Good old Mr. S has a Mercedes. The lowest class, cheapest Mercedes. That means that among the rich, Mercedes owning social circles of Busan, he's poor and has the crap Mercedes. So what did Mr. S do? He actually scraped the model code off the back of his car so no one knows that he has the low end car. And that's not even surprising to me anymore. They are constantly trying to one-up the other and it starts as children. The fierce educational competition they are put through for the duration of their schooling carries over into adulthood where they are still just trying to get ahead of the next person. One way they do this through branding. They need to show everyone that they are rich (even though they aren't) by putting on a front. That front is carrying a knockoff Louis, making sure you have what everyone else has despite the fact you can't afford it and yes, even sending your kid to a brand name academy. 

Because we will no longer be associated with a nationwide name, parents are pulling their kids out because they can't tell so-and-so that little Jimmy goes to Avalon. My two favorite girls, whom I've been teaching for two years now, have quit. I actually cried. They said they wanted to stay but their mothers are making them quit. I am 99.9% sure that the sudden drop in our kids this semester is attributed to the recent change and it beyond irks me. I loved those girls. A bunch of others at Nammun and at Al's office will never be seen again all because mommy can't brag to her friends anymore. 

The semester changed this week at Nammun. New books, new classes. Well, the classes get rearranged as the kids level up or down. Their school year starts in March and we get a slew of new kids then, and slowly throughout the year the classes get combined as they all move up or quit and eventually by winter I have a lot of free gaps in my day. I now teach no more than 4 hours on any given day. Mondays and Thursdays I only teach 3 hours and Fridays even less as I go in at 2:00 and leave at 5:45, with only 2 1/2 of that actually in a classroom. Just straight luck. I'm getting paid the same amount as Al who has to be at school 2-10 every day with significantly more class hours. That's just how it works here. 

I had some fun with my little kids the other day and snapped a bunch of pictures, enjoy!

My lesson before we got silly. There's no picture to draw for "brown"...

A Nammun Elementary Halloween

I always like special days at school when we can get away from the mundane daily task of teaching and learning. These kids have no free time whatsoever so any chance I get to have fun with them, I take. Halloween is a holiday made for kids. Adults love it, but kids L-O-V-E it. Asia, on the other hand, sucks at Halloween. It has just not really caught on here and it's nothing like in the US and Canada. There aren't any costume shops per se, nor are there many places to even buy anything Halloween related. Toys R Us and a few of the department stores have a small selection of things like witch hats, swords and fairy wings. I saw a few Iron Man costumes and some other doctor/fireman/police officer pajama like things for boys, but that's really about it. There's definitely no trick-or-treating, it's just more or less a reason to put on a hat or mask and get candy from your teacher at school.

...That's where we come in! I went above and beyond and made tons of decorations and thought of games for the kids because the Korean teachers are useless when it comes to things like that. At the end of every semester (every two months) we have "coupon day" where the kids redeem the coupons they receive from accumulated stamps and stickers for homework and good behavior throughout those two months. Usually it's snacks, pens, notebooks and a movie during class but this coupon day fell on Halloween, so we made it special for them by giving out candy also. I cringed watching the kids who never do homework and therefore have no coupons be handed gobs of candy, but, it's a special day I suppose. Al teaches with me on Thursdays at Nammun so this year, he was there with me and made it much more fun! Despite them not getting a real Halloween experience, we all had buttloads of fun.  

Didn't get too creative, but Al wore his onesie and called himself a bunny

Wayne and Kevin the Mummy

Toilet paper mummy game

Anna looks unimpressed to be swaddled in TP

Al and I had a teacher race. I WON